Keeping Busy & Focused

Ingeborg Helmersen

I have noticed in the past that many folks being treated for any variety of cancers commence upon a journey that remains virtually self-focused and eventually leads to a defeatist attitude, though verbally they display 'high hopes' for wellness - one can visually see the plastic-like emotions behind their fading hope the same as one can observe the false happiness of a salesperson.

Anne Ousland

Personally, I kept working every day and writing on my fiction stories when possible. Now I will embark on a journey of total internal remodeling project (see pics of our new small home) during the waning away of the side effects of treatment.

Bertha Torbjoernsen

I do know that years of treatment will (can wear one down - just this one year was more than enough for me. One becomes extremely tired of not sleeping more than an hour at a time throughout the nights, going every day for radiation treatments, having your 'malady' in front of your eyes instead of on the pathway behind you, etc.

Rasmus Strømme

But... my point is... make an attempt to find something to focus on. Maybe a hobby, taking up line-dancing, book binding, music, drama... anything to enjoy life, whether you have a few months or dozens of years ahead.

Rasmus Strømme

 Eventually I plan to write a short story (or Flash Fiction) piece dealing with "Numbering Our Days" and making the most of them.

Until next time... have a wonderful Holiday Season and end of year 2012!

Photo by me

The paintings are from the early 1900s and onward and by various artists – the first painting was created by my wife’s grandmother. The home in the foreground (right side) is our newly purchased home.

My Only Friend, The End...

No, not the Doors' song 'The End', but I had my final injection on Monday the 15th of October 2012.

I had a different nurse than the previous 3 injections and this one hurt. I also was well aware that it was an implant going into the stomach lining, whereas before it went so smooth I had no idea anything had been blasted into that area.

Stopped the laxative, the pills to soften the bladder wall and finished radiation all last Tuesday. Still need to use the john 2-3 times in a row (5 minutes) about every hour at night and can hardly wait for this side effect to dissipate.

Working every day and did not take any sick leave time - it's best to keep going and focus on your goals. That way you will never have time to worry about anything... if you are the worrying type. If you 'know' God is always in control, then you will be fine no matter what your experience entails anyway.

English actor Geoffrey Hughes has passed away

English actor Geoffrey Hughes has passed away

2 February 1944 – 27 July 2012

Prostate cancer has claimed the life of one of my favorite English actors. I am fortunate enough to have his personalized autographed picture hanging on the wall here by my desk. I sent him a birthday greeting a number of years ago, not expecting anything in response, but out of his big heart he replied.

I especially enjoyed him as the character "Onslo" in the British sitcom "Keeping Up Appearances" - a must see for you Americans.

An excerpt from Wikipedia:

As well as a wide range of TV and film appearances, Hughes was best known for a series of supporting roles in popular UK television dramas. He played Vernon Scripps in the British drama series Heartbeat (2001–05, 2007); Twiggy in the popular television comedy The Royle Family (1998–2000, 2006, 2008); Onslow in the sitcom Keeping Up Appearances (1990–95) and Eddie Yeats in the soap opera Coronation Street (1974–83, 1987).

R.I.P. Mr. Hughes

7.5 Weeks of Radiation

Yes, this is the place I lay down upon every week day.


Five weeks of radiation beam treatment are over with only 17 additional 'focused' zaps to go.


I have felt a lot more fatigued this past week and have that stiff pain in my neck and those nagging background headaches.


Looking forward to it all being over and the side effects to wind down - the oncologist said side effects can endure for six months.

Glowing Report – Feeling Radiant!

I'm almost halfway through my radiation treatments and don't notice any overly intolerable side effects.


I can hardly wait to be done with this portion and my final injection one week later!


Then... it will probably be about 3-4 months for that final injection's side effects to wear away.

Then I'm home free!

Rays of Hope!

Tomorrow commences my 37 weekdays in a row treatment with beams of radiation.

I have taken the paraffin liquid for over a week already and was surprised that it was not bad at all - at least compared to one of those fad oil drinking diets where one uses fowl tasting oils.

I found that over the past 10 days or so I have been literally exhausted by 19:30 each evening and force myself to stay up until 20:00 or 20:30, but still must get up at least every hour to use the restroom due to the 'feeling' of need. I am also experiencing joint pains in my wrists and right ankle - may have hip pains in the near future according to the side-effect list.

Looking forward to after my last radiation rays on October 9 followed by my last shot on October 15. Then just a few months until that shot's side effects wear down and all is back to normal.

Where's Doctor McCoy when you need him the most?

Counting Sheep

Counting Sheep

or

Counting on Sheep?

It gets wearisome after 6+ months of light and short sleep intervals. Counting on the practice of counting sheep is only relaxing at best.


The good news is... two more of those shots and the reasons for sleeping short 20 minute to 1 hour 'naps' should start to wind away 3-4 months after the last injection during week 42.


Onward I go... into the blue!

California Summer!

Actually …

… I am a long way from my home state of California. After my second 12-week interval shot, the hot-flashes seem to have shifted to more of having flashes of feeling normal. I am warm-hot most of the time. The benefit is experiencing a California feeling summer in Norway!

Working outside is an added benefit to my current state of warmness. I sweat just like those 40c/104°F California days working in arid areas on construction projects running as fast as possible. I actually feel better than I have in years, which I am sure is due to the sweating cycle of my body finally being able to function normally at my California life-long levels again.

Plus, I saved the price of a trip back home – too bad    L

Until next time …

One More Shot for the Road

Getting ready for next week's second injection of hormone blocking remedy into my stomach lining.

I was able to sleep 4 whole unbroken hours last night for the first time in weeks, followed by the normal 1 hour wakeups until dawn. My previous record was 2 hours 2 times. Not quite sure if this was because I am so exhausted, or that it's time for the next shot and the last 12-week's medicine dose is dwindling away.

I'm ready for that big needle! C'mon, nurse ...

Drain the Lizard

I believe that the full effect of my first Zoladex injection back in February is taking its hold. I have read that it is generally 6-8 weeks after the first stomach-plunging needle experience that this is the case.

I experience nights of restless, bathroom-visiting, interrupted sleep quite frequently; and we all know the long term effects lack of sleep may cause. Time will tell.

One night I was up every 10-35 minutes and then went to work the next day. Needless to say I got sick and now have a cold and probably an accompanying nasal infection. This may be due to lack of sleep and 3 days of freezing temperatures. I work outside, but when a hot flash came on, I found myself taking off my coat and stocking hat to stop sweating.

On the bright side – working outside with the Sunshine on my Shoulders in beautiful surroundings is more than most folks could ever ask.

Take care & God bless!

Happy Easter - God Påske

Happy Easter - God Påske

Working outside every day helps with the fatigue related side-effects associated with treatment, not bad at all. Now it is a 5-day holiday (paid for 3) to ready myself for next week's 4-day work-week.


It's been cold with frost again, but that's normal for this time of year here.

Have a wonderful holiday time, everyone!

Buried Treasure!

Yes, the golden slivers were buried (implanted) into my prostate on the 20th of March.


The next step is 37 radiation beam treatments commencing at August's end or in the beginning of September.


And who said 2012 would be an uneventful year?



The photo I took with my phone while waiting outside the urology surgical area at the Kristiansand hospital on 'Implantation' Thursday.

Shrivel Me Timbers!

     I’ve felt more energetic since the 30 days of taking Bicalutamide Bluefish 50mg pills ended, but I still get waves of fatigue and got flashes now and then. Hot flashes tend to arrive in the middle of the night like a Collins’ family vampire – yes, I saw the trailer for Johnny Depp’s new ‘Dark Shadows’ movie and used to watch the TV soap opera on occasion way back when.

Getting back to the topic; those mood swings (i.e. emotion/energy-levels) that are mentioned on the list of possible side effects can be better explained this way:

          One spends so much time in the lower levels that ‘normal’ becomes the high. No elation days like back in the 60’s, no … normal is now the feeling that glides over the high hump of this roller coaster ride.

And the shrivel part … read your side effects list for details, but that is more like a turtle hiding in its shell.

Thursday 10:40 AM I will be transformed into the golden boy once the gold implant marker pieces are surgically placed into my prostate in preparation for the future radiation beam therapy.

I still have strange dreams, but most involve me arriving/wandering-around large commercial construction sites with similar inner feelings I had when I actually did this way back when.

Got to run … back to bed, that is.

Dancing to the Flute

"We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn."      -Matthew 11:17

Lately I have had dreams of being back on large construction jobs, including a hospital site. Of course, I was a forman for 10 years with a large HMO and continually worked on around 15-20 or more of their hospitals and clinics. Those were the days, weren't they?

Soon I will have my gold implants placed strategically inside my prostate in preparation for the radiation treatment.

Life dances on …

One of my favorite British character actors, Geoffrey Hughes, experienced a relapse in Aug 2010 after only one year of experiencing the comfort of mind that he was clear of his prostate cancer. Those types of stories, as with Bill Bixby's & Frank Zappa's, are always closer to home than they are for most readers unaffected by the PC malady. 

The TV legend, who has  publicly supported cancer  charities. He first appeared in  1960s classics such as Z-Cars  and The Likely Lads and he  was  the voice of Paul  McCartney in the Beatles film  The Yellow Submarine.

He  also starred as slobbish  Onslow (phot left) in the hit BBC sitcom  Keeping Up Appearances and  Twiggy in The Royle Family. His other roles have  included Vernon in Heartbeat  and Uncle Keith in  Skins.

Geoffrey, who left  Coronation Street in 1984,  also  guest starred in episodes of  Doctor Who, Casualty, Boon  and The Upper Hand.

In July  last year he was appointed  Deputy Lord Lieutenant for  the Isle of Wight, making him  “the official link between the  island and royalty at formal engagements”

A Picture is Worth 1,000 Words – 1,000 Pictures = ?

I just had my 'treatment' plan laid out today. My bone scan was clear, so no metastasis. The 1000 picture MRI showed everything ‘bad’ is contained inside the prostate and my tumor level is in-between the best and the worst, so not aggressive, but should be treated.  Up to 6 is considered low – 8 and up aggressive, Mine is a 7A (3+4=7A – Gleason Score).

My PSA level went from 14 down to 9.7 indicating it was most probably an infection that boosted PSA levels for 6 months. The infection showed up on the MRI.

I will get an injection of Zoladex 10.8mg into my stomach lining every 12 weeks for a year (began today), this blocks testosterone from being produced in my body. I also received 30 days’ worth of Bicalutamide Bluefish 50mg pills that also block male hormone production. The shot was in the stomach, but was nothing bad. I’ve always heard as a kid that those rabies shots in the stomach were a horrible pain, but this was not.

After 6 months or so, (Aug-Sept) I will have radiation beams to the prostate every day for 37 treatments. The first 25 cover a larger area due to glands associated/connected-to with the prostate - the last 12 are more specific. Before those start, I will receive 3 pieces of gold placed into the prostate for location purposes. So if I have more children  . . . will they have golden blonde hair? I will also begin using the major lubricant laxative, liquid paraffin, prior to radiation to ensure that there is less displacement pressure in the area of the prostate - I hate to eat and run, oh, well.

Other stats: Impotence - until after treatment is concluded and … 40% of men do not recover from this malady ever, whether they have beam treatment or prostate removal – and yes, either treatment does produce the same survival rate – no difference statistically within my range. One can expect a 10 – 15 kilo weight gain – just what everyone wants. Like a green & orange tie for Christmas … with ducks on it.

So, things look ok and the cancer doctor expects a complete cure since this is an early detection.

Treatments are based on a 10 years life scale. If you were 70, most likely no treatment, since you probably would not live to 80 anyway. ‘IF’ a sample PSA test were taken of all men 55 – 58, it would reveal 50% with prostate cancer across the board, but most 

men never die from this cancer.

This was good news for me today.

Got to run … Starting with today's male hormone blocking injection and pill gave me the urge to go out and shop for some red pumps and a matching purse, ha, ha.

Thank You - to God, my great oncologist and lovely wife.

Dreams and Nightmares

I saw a dream and it made me fearful; and these fantasies as I lay on my bed and the visions in my mind kept alarming me.   Daniel 4:5

How about you …

Good dreams, bad dreams you know you’ve had your share, when they come in the midst of a lone dark night they still don’t seem to scare.

Last night’s dream, I was on my way, or so I thought, to a prison cell and had planned to read a little book that was in the passenger side of my pickup (haven’t had a pickup in eons), but I was taken to another place instead.

I was distressed a bit over not being able to read that little book once ‘someone’ informed me I had two hours to live (until execution) as my late mother sat in a chair in the dimly lit corner.

What did I decide to do for my last two hours, you ask?  I started to organize my key chain and rid it of unnecessary items so that my wife would not be confused with it all when I was no longer around.

Yes, we all procrastinate on readying our affairs when we really should not, whether we are as healthy as a horse or as dreadfully sick as a politician is.

Another dream a short time ago entailed the turning over of some very nice dirt in the flower area of my grave near the tombstone – of course, ‘I do this’ for my 7-8 ,month summer season job – add fertilizer to dirt, plant flowers and rid the weeds on graves. I have anxiously awaited getting back to this job and its peacefulness.

Years ago, before I had surgery to repair a torn rotator cuff and re-attach a tendon to the head of my humerus (my biceps tendon was also broken, but those shrivel up fast and disappear and are, therefore, not usually repairable) the HMO I had my coverage through, Kaiser Permanente Northern California, did not perform any empirical examinations, they only gave me varying kinds of pills.

ANYWAY … those medications frequently resulted in wild and crazy dreams/nightmares. I actually began looking forward to seeing my next ‘free’ scary movie. No $7.00 - $10.00 a pop for those films … and … they are usually always unpredictable in plot!

I do enjoy those flying dreams, I must say. They usually entail more of a giant, floating-style leap that is based upon my focused will. I start descending when my focus diminishes. I have only had a couple of those Superman type flying dreams in my life, maybe only one.

When I was a little boy in 1^st or 2^nd grade, I had a recurring dream three times. I was being grabbed by my legs and pulled out of my bedroom window. In each dream I went further out the window until, finally, I was holding on to the side frame with my fingers. It may have resulted from someone attempting entry to my bedroom window when I was younger. I ran out of the room as the curtains were being drawn back, bumping my leg on my grandmother’s beige hope-chest.

Killing large black snakes and chasing out of the yard those barking, growling black dogs is also quite a satisfying thrill of a dream.

How about you? Dreams? Nightmares?

What about a collection of these fanciful tales of terror from the night being collected into an easy to read book for publication?

Any ideas?

The Ultimate Example of Preventive Medicine

I thought this was an interesting news video - HERE.


Thursday evening and Friday I will have both my full-body MRI and nuclear bone scan.

        Then ... ?

 I still hope for the best.

No News Is Not Good News - But Good News Is

Last Friday my GP helped run down appointments for me and ease my mind a bit with the technical info from my tests thus far.

It is amazing how some simple 'good' news (or at least not horrible news) can help someone to feel more rested and assured in their heart along with increasing hopefulness.
Information is the key. As with every realm of society, education, information and analysis help lead one down the pathway to enlightened and informed decision making.

My Gleason Score was actually better than I thought that it would be, or dreaded that it might be. My MRI & Body Scan tests are in the works, and I've slept in the middle of our bed where it is nice and firm and my back is so much better. 2 compressed discs, 1 herniated, calcium deposits up the spine and arthritis cause a bit of discomfort at times.

Oh, the picture of Jackie Gleason is just for fun. I played his character, Ralph Kramden -The Honeymooners, once in a Valentine's Day dinner theater.

R.I.P. Jessica Joy Rees

R.I.P.

Jessica Joy Rees

The 12-year-old girl who blogged her cancer fight has died.  She was one of the estimated 50,000 American children with cancer.

More info HERE